Sweet

freedom is sweet, sweeter when its served with a spillage of blood. Goodbye.

After the banquet

I'm the best man. Dressed sharp, double breasted jacket. Felt power. ^snicker'
For the banquet, of the union of my brother and Sharon. Welcome to our family, it ain't perfect but its one of the best :)
Its an eye opener, organising and administrating. I'm drain. However the best part came from my mother's old friend: ' You are like your father'.
Its very touching, I wore my dad's tie for this special day, in my heart I felt that its a representation of my father's presence. For him to witness his son Johnson getting married to a remarkable woman Sharon.

Part 2+

Months, and then the blogging juices are functioning again. I'm gonna whack it short from the previous post. Went to stay at Xi Men Ting. Thats a central area filled with shops houses and eateries, closes resemblance are what you have in Bugis Village and Gaylang Serai. And small shopping buildings like the Orchard Edmeral. We stayed in a budget hotel. Didn't enjoy it as I have to share the bed with James. An effort to save money on a trip in a cheesy way its bullshit in my opinion, we can actually choose to stay shorter days and sleep in comfort. People, plan your trip well, weight who's going and what they are, yes, WHAT they are not who. Food on the streets there is bland, no spices of shorts. Oil is free flow, weather is hot and dry. Shopping for all the days, taking the mass transit train through and fro to other places I don't bother to remember. The fuzzy buzz in my head is that we went to Taipei 101, impressive structure with the surrounding infrastructure built mega sized and in style. Brought 2 items i really like by Y3. And then those clowns have to go all in fake acclaim mode by my expenditure, save those shitty hokkien phrases and manage your own finance well enough to buy rather than crooning. TV is full of political shit, celebrities life stories of failures, marriage, sex, stupidity + what have you. And there's tens of channels running biz on ghosts and haunting, mountain voodoo blah blah. There are adverts on sex phone chat too, funny how they love to use the phrase, in translation 'Big brother quick call in, your sexy cute sisters are waiting', incest anyone?
Went to Coca sine or coca zine cafe whatever the name is. The reason why I bother going to Taiwan in the first place. For market research says Abby but boo plans change lets go shopping cause I don't even know whats there to research anyway. The cafe sucks. Its chocolate drink taste like MILO, poor taiwanese lady boss went all the way to import it from Italy not knowing her close friend Malaysia put brown powder in cans ages ago. Taiwan is a nice place. nice, nothing more. Perhaps im jaded by this lion city. The above opinions are personal, offence made will not be given a fuck about.
Next the weeks followed after the trip are quite humbugged and grey.
My friends fought, I patch the small mess up and it broke again. Where's the love?
Friends play and strutter their fantasy around.
Rethought about my direction of my life and now, just want to rest more.
I wanna be blah blah blah gets overused.
Entertained lots of fools.
Request to leave prison early, got classified as 2nd class citizen.
Became a committee member of some organize place of oxymoron shitty shitty bang bang culture.
Entertainment avenues are facades.
Fools love their gap and really feel wise in their own eyes.
People snub others to gain false ego boost.
Oh yes, someone once commented my posts reflect a totally different person face to face.
Its called politeness.
I'm a nice person but I'll be a woodcock to say I still love your face when you blow ass crap on me. p.s 'you' in these sense meant anyone guilty of said act.
Went fat a little, got sick, still work, endured the 'I don't give a shit' asstitude from management.
That's all for the smelly things.

Now for the good news.
I wise up.
Learnt to take peoples' act in pinches of salt.
Know about What certain people really are.
Knew about people can be sized up and determined about their act on a 90% probability by gifted meatbags, and just yesterday, sunday, I got reminded about the Promise to me.
Thank Jesus again, and finally I got my direction again.

Don't ask, I won't tell cause its a journey travel being carried on His back.

Nuff hence said of part 2+

The Trip part 1

I suppose it is time for me to do myself justice to blog down my trip to Taipei, Taiwan. The last proper entry is like a month ago. Its been a month of bad after taste since I've got to work on projects that are not my interest. I'm going to write about a few things beside the trip.

Going to Taiwan was initially a plan to see how a cafe; namely Chocozing function. Since my colleague name Abby wants to head to Taipei and see for herself if its a good choice to follow the business module. Anyway I tagged along to see the world, so called as it will be my virgin trip outside of Singapore and Malaysia. the trip lasted from 21th - 27th and prior to that, It was my battalion anniversary. Its screwed-up and messy, kudos to the organisers for not being more aware and prepared for the event. I've worked on a presentation that anniversary and it turned to trash just because the organisers didn't do a test run. Wasted the efforts of me and Leon. Fucking bad feelings. And soon after that I had to rush home and pack my things for the trip. However I was not able to sleep until I rush a flyer and poster for my client, a makeover studio. Why do I rush, cause they simply give me the necessary photographs of their ugly models on the last day itself. Want to print on Saturday, demands work of Friday. Fucktards. The most stupid thing is the photos they provided for me is horrible, they did not care for the products they crunch out, even though they're a make over studio, making photographs look good. In the end I finished the job yet received a call from my client saying my work its not interesting and boring, they want flashy stuff. Whatever. I couldn't bother about them anymore, I used to, but I realise they are just shitheads wanting to make many fast money, lusting for the success of another makeover studio in Suntec. Bunch of fuckheads. They didn't realise at this era, the consumers hold power, if your product sucks , I'm just go to another service provider, being the cheapest priced studio ain't helping the sales for being a commodity of junk work.

Back to the trip. It really started very bad on 21st morning, I had to wait for my mother as she insist sending me off. Yeah I know, its her love but I cannot stand her stubborn attitude of wanting me to bring medication pills , in her words, I will get nausea, vomit, flu as I going there for the first time. Paranoia. And we both left around 11am, my flight is 1pm, check in is at 12 pm. I would feel much better if i took the taxi, but to my disappointment, the paranoid one wants to take the MRT, why? cheap fares. Along the the MRT journey she ceaselessly prattles about I shouldn't feel stress up, do my work early. prepare early, should have do this and that. Its very idiotic to dwell on the past and become part of the problem and not the solution to comfort a person. Ladies and aunties please be aware that males do not appreciate nagging, just focus the task at hand and we will feel much much happier. In the end it adds up to my extreme frustration of being late and had to follow the wishes of someone NOT able to think and act with intelligence and wisdom. Cheap fares weights more to see your son in comfort and reach the flight on time, wow, pissed me off way off the charts. In the end I got of Bedok station and flagged a taxi. She still insist on continue with the MRT ride. I reached the airport and ran to the check in counter. Got my thicket and went in to the departure hall. That point, I had to force myself to acknowledge the paranoid one is there. I couldn't be more happy to leave her. I wasn't even thinking about any friends or relative, right at that point going to Taiwan seems more of a relieve to leave problematic people behind. But one thing that lacks from the beginning to the end of the trip is excitement. I feel empty inside, not happy as one would expect going overseas for the first time.

Lazy Fucked Me

Damn lazy these days

A good shit

Had diarrhoea twice this month.

Its unpleasant.
And fearful, 6 days in a row. x 2. twice the fear.


Some people quibble about love, money, politics. So long you have the health and the love ones you take for granted, every little non-consequential thing is worth its seconds of bitching.

Shitting, something so natural such as breathing, when gone wrong, makes everything grey.

When you pee blood,
When walking and turning around hurts,
When breathing is a struggle.

Treasure your health. I did, I prayed.

Today is good. I shitted a good shit. The peace and joy is such wonder.

Loving life more and more. Do you?

Alot of things

Wah~~~~~~~~~! Too many things.

Which is, in my opinion, things happened according to the flow of things.

I'm just

too lazy

to settle once and for all to cope them all.

I think I'm suppose to write some significant events that happens the past week or so. However,

this

is

self digital media advertising

I'm a G

Oh my, me realise me have special powers to derive ideas that's totally mind blowing. Yummy [!] Me gonna save my country from quality creative deprivation. After of course I got outta the green+grey+white place. Sidetracking, more and more of my friends are getting less sane every day. Hmmmm

Blank

More then a week has past. Was busy doing freelance. Was busy meeting friends, chat and see whats going on with them. Was busy having a mild good time at Dragonfly on 30th. Busy yet deep down, I feel blank. Iwould have love to blog all the things I did but somehow the feeling to blog them seems a waste of time recollecting the memories. Need something alive. I've have not been listerning to Lord as much I had hope to. The flesh is really weak. Guard duty is around the corner and going to work seems so dull. But i'm not unhappy. Its the feeling of mellowness again. Something needs to be done. But what? Oh ya, went to chocolate factory at The pier. Its not really that amazing. Maybe i'm tired, because I believe I would enjoy more if the mood is better.

Anti - Others [:] Me - Anti

Hiatus after my last blog. Was down. Feeling off. Reason: I thought too much of others. I help others, I care for others, I compare with others, I listen for others, I criticise for others, I thought for others. I listen to others. I'm a Mr Nice Guy. Overly considerate for others but not Me. Feeling dysfunctional. I'm I a thank you seeker? Yes I thought, yet no one really does say thank you or sorry. I'm a punch bag. It's a fault I allow others to vent. Do I gossip about others? Yes. Do i criticise others? Yes. Positive and negative actions all about others.

Fuck this ^.


Me put too much of others in me, me seldom put Me in others

No more I for others, its gonna me for Me and Him. Damn humans. Me need to remember me have the touch of Midas. Me + Him can do wondrous things. Thank you Leon for word slap me. Me can see now.

Above and Beyond

Friends+ = Network

12th May, saturday. Today went out to meet Dorris's friends, Haruna and Yuka. By now I realise, without knowing Dorris, I would not meet Yukiko, Maggie, Michelle, Aya, Kaori, Helme, Yuka and Haruna. And Dorris would not meet Leon, Jebaz, Guan Yu and Zu Jian. And I know Dorris because of Canbara classes, which was introduce by Daryl. Somehow, through Daryl, my network expended. For this I must say thank you Daryl. I realise from primary school, secondary school and poly, life for me is a grey affair. I'm a boring type of person when young, always dwell in books, doesn't get involve in groups, doesn't really crave or care to establish a connection with my friends, or shall I say, classmates. Looking back, I don't have any neighbourhood friends too, not like joining strangers to play football or basketball. Nor have I establish any church friends although I used to attend church every Sunday. And then computer games and mmorpgs infected my poly and 21 -22 year old life. In sort, in my pass 22 years, I never bother to reach out, see the streets, get to know more people that I should and progressing my verbal conversation skills. And if there is any regret that bore out from a mistake is this: I never keep in touch with a girl I like in church when I was 14. And now I didn't keep in touch with samuel and yashin from secondary school. All in all, committing to friends was a drain to me in the past, I keep deflecting the notion to bond with my friends. But now, it seems like something fresh is blooming , my social network, I really like it yet this feeling of giving back joy to my social 'network' doesn't seem to be happening. I need a character change in me. Oh going back to the meeting, Haruna is interesting because she studied 2-3 foreign languages, theres a certain attraction of her jovial and ease, Yuka is marvelous looking but extruding a quiet aura that makes me again,like before for Aya and Kaori, wants to strike up interesting and stimulation healthy conversations with her. Its a fun night, in a 'meet new people' way :) now its 1:09 AM May 14, Haurna and Yuka are going back to Japan, through that short meeting, somehow sparks a desire to know more of them, what a slight forlorn feeling.

(?)

Didn't blog the past few days, nothing much happen. Went out with Leon again to skip class, apparently learnt about something positive happen to him. Well it was all cheery, we went to eat at Liekthai at Marine Square. The food is good, however, strangely, it is not filling. Later at that day, something grey demands Leon to be in servitude. Then it gets dark. Leon's effort to buoy afloat gets weight down by rude behaviour. Hope you can cut the kite's string Leon.

I'm so bless ;)

Today got a conversation with Leon concerning first about x-men then to relationships. Upon relationships we talked about the ideal partner, the personal preferences of his and mine when looking for a wife. Then we had a debate about is there a relationship where there's no quarrelling. His stand is there's no relationship that quarrelling is non-existent, mine is there will occasionally be tensions but a couple can solve it without quarrelling. After which we settled that he have his own view, i have mine. Alone in the train I thought a lot about not what we discussed but I'm actually counting my blessings, in addition reading the book titled Dating with Pure Passion by Rob Eagar. I don't know how to express this, but I feel, and still feeling happy( not those feelings of happiness that gratifies a short while but an elated feeling of assurance and knowing that my path is laid out perfectly by Lord.) Septics might laugh at this, believing in the capabilities of man, and would laugh at this cliche phrase of 'my path is laid perfectly by Lord.' But only I know, because all the blessings unto me are invisible. Sometimes I feel like telling people about mine. Yet wisdom prevails that those who wants to listen eventually will, and the people of the world choose not to accept the enjoyment that the children of Abraham have.

I've accepted and see. its so [!+^O^+:D].

Mahoganish Fungi

28th, went home from work, got a call from Dorris to head down blu jazz at Arab street. Never been there before [!] totally a yellowish blue jazzy relaxing place. The food is good albeit a tad oily. (*+!) Dorris brought along her beautiful friends, Yukiko, Kaori and Aya<- pronounce as such). Conversation started slow. Daryl glup a mouthful of [green bottle redstar logo] beer. Weeee he blahs off talking, humourous. Me: sipping coffee, purging my lethargy. Attempting to start a conversation with Aya, uncomfortable. I know that as much I am progressing to be an articulate, sweet fulfilling glibbering 'LadyHealer', I still can't find much ground to talk about with Aya. My poor, likewise to Kaori, conversation is at least how I felt at that period, boring. Daryl goes about talking BMT+Banggra+ Tamil dancing+Japan. Yukiko, Helmi & Dorris laughing. Me: thinking how to make the ladies more happy. Suddenly I've gotten a bottle of {redstar logo geen bottle} beer after a rouse about me having the same birthday as Yukiko :p cute and sweet. Danny: not coming to join us. <- you're blessed to be a natural ice breaker. All of us went home around 11pm. On the train, Me: could I have speak more and know more of Aya and Koari? Yes, but im just tired and not use to the attention (Dorris you hyped me up, causing me to have a thought they are expecting some 'LadyKiller' lol :p ). Thank Lord im improving my speechcraft.

29th. At the Rock; New Creation Church, Pastor Prince: the Law and (grace+truth) are polerise. People cannot Be+LIVE[in faith in Lord] right and yet doeth deeds to justify the Law. Beliving through Hearing, Faith through Beliving, and all Blessing flow through Beliving. Those who do deeds to account for the Law lives by them. Me: realised with the HoSpi Jesus is a craftsman/artisan; found my answer to the question: if i want to be a sucessful sensationalist, who should i look to? Next Prince spoke about the power of Words/words. Me: delightfully exhilarating, things are simply sweet. Walked out feeling elated. As always in Him.

At Marina □, Me: got a sms from Dorris complimenting me :) thankyou. Happy. Proceed to meet up with Leon.

At CJ Gin Chic + bbq, Leon: a plethora of emotions, why? Anne and Joanna (lovely ladies). Me: glad, actually converse with each of them, short but sweet moments. :)

Love Lord Love Life, me: feelings of Mahoganish Fungi, sweet earthly viberant fumes of life, exploding to spore the seeds of blessing.

To Miss Butterfly with songs

Went to crystal jade ginseng chicken + BBQ restaurant today with Leon for my 24th.

Its was not our initial decision but because of you; just with that beautiful smile in that adorable dress, we went in anyway. [That Korean feminine beauty was right on high, just when I'm mesmerized by kim ah - joong in 200 pound beauty. ]

The food is nice, and the tea fragrant with savoriness. However, the gourmet experience is only sweeten in your presence.

Alluring, I am definitely going there again, to at least see you flutter with the rhythm of the song.

Virgin Entry †

This is my first entry marking a new journey in life, and I'm posting it on my 24th birthday! 24 is the 21 for me as the last 23 years, things had been a constant low with anger and I waddled in pensive moods. There are countless moments when I feel the urge to log my thoughts, but I never did as the feeling was fleeting as a cosmic fly. This year is different, I can sense it in the air, there will not be blood boiling and sorrowful needles for me. What I am now is a new creation, and I have to thank my Lord for it. I can't explain but I'm certain there are positive changes in[&]around me. This blog is about me providing visual venom to you. It will be a silent sensationaphical onslaught to slake you up like a smooth flayed humane skin; I hope, but it doesn't matter about you cause its my fucking blog. Thankyou. With L[!]ve.